i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
