He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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