are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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