I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
