Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
