Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
