can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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