Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize