im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
