The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
