what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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