So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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