he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
