Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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