So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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