I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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