We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
