don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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