he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
