We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
