I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
