hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
