Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My liver just had a heart attack.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
