Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
