Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
