just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
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Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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