hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
