I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
