i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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