That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just google imaged poop.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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