Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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