Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
