i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
