Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
