Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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