Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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