I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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