Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
