You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
