marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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