I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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