I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
