I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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