i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize