I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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