dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You pole danced in your parka.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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