i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just blew my weed a kiss
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
