I was born with a shot glass in my hand
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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