I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
