I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
