Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
