Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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