went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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