This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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