And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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