so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
