Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
