Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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