mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
