I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
