Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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